There is something to be said about examining the light within yourself, to see that is not dark. I came across this song yesterday, and its chorus stuck in my head throughout the morning. Here is a sample verse that sums up the content.

Too full of fear and prophecy to see
The revelation right in front of me
So sick and tired of trying to make the pieces fit
Because that’s not what bearing witness is

Now, I am not saying I fully agree with what is being said, nor do I fully disagree. I hardly doubt that is the reason Holy Spirit allowed the song to stick in me as long as it has. So, I began asking a series of questions. In my own pursuit in figuring out how to love Love Himself with all of my heart, I surely have played the game of ”am I on the tails of that prophetic word? Perhaps if I run really fast I can take hold of it and we’ll fly away together.” In understanding this backward motion, I get it; that surely is not what bearing witness is.

The question left is then, what is bearing witness? When I asked Him this, I was reminded of the two anointed serve the Lord of all the earth: the olive branches pouring golden oil into pipes. I remembered John the revelator who saw and heard, then wrote. I thought of the one who watched to see.

To bear witness, one has to first behold. It’s not a feeling, it is a report of what has been beheld. It speaks in the language of word, art, sport, the daily mundane; bearing witness should permeate every piece of life. Oh to behold beauty that I may speak of such glory!

The word before the lips is fruit to the ears, but vain claims are made of a flapping jaw.

It truly is an amazing thing to find what’s lurking beneath the surface of your heart and wonder as to why it is that your face is not full of warts and dark splotches. How is it that the slime from the depths of depravity found in the inner crevices do not make it up to the surface more often? The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. That sounds about right to me. So what is the point of it all? There once lived a man who had the pleasure of having the internal workings of his heart be made fully manifest in his life, and he lived as a wild beast during this time of revelation. In moments like today, I view this example as the very description of my own internal state. The real mind game is that the Holy Spirit, the formless state of peace and love Himself,  is said to be taking up residence in my being. So I wonder, what little room I must be giving Him to have but a glimpse of my own internal workings come up to the surface this afternoon the way they have. Perhaps all I need is love. Yes, I am sure of it. It is the wonderful predicament that we all come to at the very moment of choosing a life which embraces truth. We are not allowed to strive and be the one to bounce darkness out, yet we are explicitly told not to give way to the dark found on the inside and all around.  Oh yeah, and we can’t let it stay where it is either, for it will only increase. 

Stop acting as though you could earn it,
I don’t love you because you deserve it.
I love you because that’s Who I Am,
Let Love Win.

My blender broke during my lunch break.

In the tire of the mundane, I find new strength coming up from me. Perhaps this is what the founding and desert fathers dubbed as the persevering faith. What did Paul think about when fashioning tents? What was the meditation of David’s heart after anointed king, yet still tending his father’s sheep? Indeed, the calling seems to be the predecessor for the release, but what is found within the in-between to trigger the release?

I do believe there exists a fine line between belief in a dream and belief in the one who sends dreams. Of course, as with all things, they flow within each others’ boundaries from time to time, but it has been my observation that the place where the heart’s anchor finds rest determines the crossover of dream into reality. Perhaps this dividing line explains the existence of the in-between: to clearly define the setting of one’s beliefs and place the dreamer onto the same wave as its weaver.

Mystic musings
in depth
contradiction of
heart state

Conquer call
buried inside
while routine
slips haste

Basic knowledge
forth applied
meditation defined
trigger claim

Sitting the majority of the day at a computer leads my mind to the knowledge of the absolute need for there to be more. It’s been said by Him, and over and over by those who love Him, that “Blessed are the hungry for they will be filled. Blessed are the thirsty for they will be satisfied.” The thing about hunger and thirst is that it is easy to ignore until it’s too late and you’ve reached the point of starvation or dehydration. I’ve heard that when you actually are thirsty , the body is already in a beginning stage of dehydration. It is quite a task to keep  the body hydrated. The Nalgenes of the 90′s and early 00′s. The recalls of the mid oo’s when they found the bottles were emitting poison into the water they held. I carry a bottle of water in my purse most of the time. I wouldn’t want to be found thirsty with no way of instantly finding satisfaction. That is just irresponsible in this day and age of running water, electricity, and power that pollutes the water we can’t drink anyway. And yet, in the convenience of it all, I sometimes just don’t want to drink any more. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to have to go to the bathroom for the 10th time today. That’s probably the biggest problem: the bathroom factor. The more you drink, the more you excrete (I feel like Rev. Jesse Jackson should have come up with that one!) I guess that is the nature (on a roll now!) of it all; you take in a pure substance like water, and it forces impurity to come out, while also causing the rest of the system to work together seamlessly. Oh for the day when I don’t wait for thirst as a prerequisite for drinking, but rather move into the place of taking in that I may never thirst again.